


The Corpse Groom

by chosenbythemoon



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Hijack, I REGRET NOTHING, I suck at tagging, Kinda?, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, Spoiler?, corpse bride AU, corpse!Jack, idk if that is actually a thing, no actually sorry, no one dies at least, sorry - Freeform, this is probably going to suck, this might have been done before, well gobber does eventually but he is still in the story don't worry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-18
Packaged: 2018-03-24 16:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3776239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chosenbythemoon/pseuds/chosenbythemoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiccup is expected to marry someone his father chose for him however after embarrassing him and forgetting his vows he runs into the forest to escape his fate and ends up marrying a dead boy with white hair and a tragic story. </p>
<p>Corpse Bride AU (based off of the movie by Tim Burton) I suck at summaries, enjoy! I also don't own The Corpse Bride, How To Train Your Dragon, or Rise of The Guardians...</p>
<p>the little --- is a change in perspective, just so you know!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. According to Plan

In the bleak hours of the morning, Hiccup sat at his desk. A black winged butterfly fluttered among the glass casing, as he effortlessly drew the creature. He was so intrigued by the insect, as it beat against the glass wishing to be free. He sympathized with the creature.

Today was the day.

Hiccup’s father was to discuss his arranged marriage, and he had to tag along for after he had to rehearse it.

Hiccup did not wish to be married, at least not arranged to be. He wanted to marry someone of his choosing, someone he could be happy with, not someone who he must marry for money.

He sighed, looking back at the butterfly and feeling a glimmer of happiness. It reminded him of his beloved dog Toothless he had as a boy, so full of life and yearning.

He wrote down the name underneath his sketch, "Nightfury".

He lifted the glass casing, freeing the butterfly from its imprisonment, wishing he could fly off like the Nightfury, as its black wings gleamed against the dreary grey sky.

Hiccup exited his room. Running late, he walked down the stairs slow, dreading the wedding rehearsal. He was met with his father on the porch.

Fish merchants, his father desperately tried to cover the family business. Their carriage with their family name on it was covered up, to look like an average carriage. He turned to his son, a look of disappointment in his eyes.

Stoick; was a beefy man, with a deep Scottish accent and a thick red beard. If you didn't know the family of Haddocks you would not even know they were related.

His only son, Hiccup Hamish Haddock III was a fish bone among salmon.

Gobber, the family servant placed his apron upon the cobblestone so his master may not step in a puddle.

Stoick entered the carriage with pride, while his son shuffled in behind him. The peg legged man hobbled over closing them in. He trekked up the steps, taking his seat before setting the carriage in motion. The horses trotted among the streets.

The ride to the Hofferson's house was silent.

\---

Around Astrid’s house, she could hear bustling about as it was getting prepared for her suitor. The word made her shutter.

Her family was one penny away from the poor house, so her marrying the son of the fish merchants would change that and help maintain her social class. However she would rather love someone of her choosing.

The painfully tight lacing of her corset snapped her back from her dazed state. "Oh Sophie, what if Hiccup and I don't... Like each other?" She sighed to her maid tying the strings.

"Hah, as if that has anything to do with marriage" her mother laughed from the doorway.

Her blue eyes darted to her parents standing in the entrance to her room.

"Do you suppose your father and I LIKE each other?" She chortled.

Astrid stammered "surely you must a little"

Astrid’s parents constantly put her down. They had a rough exterior and interior which explained their only offspring, Astrid Hofferson. She was known for her beauty however her parents called her a disgrace.

"Of course not" they snapped in sync, her mother continued by spitting,

"Get that corset laced properly, I can hear you speak without gasping"

Astrid's gaze fell as the dainty blonde tightened the binds around her torso. After the knot was tied, she was helped into her dress. The loud tone of the doorbell echoed through the empty halls. Sophie left with a curtsy to help tend to her masters. She fixed up her braid on her head, lightly brushing the bangs out of her eyes. She stared at her reflection for a few moments; she straightened when she heard a loud clatter downstairs.

Astrid ran as fast as her tight clothing would let her down the hallway, she came to a stop at the top of the stairs. A crumpled heap lay among the marble floor. She jumped, sliding down the railing and rushing to aid the person under her family's ancient shield. She lifted the stone, struggling slightly under the weight.

She was met with forest green eyes "are you alright?"

\---

Hiccup and his father arrived at the Hofferson's household.

They climbed the stone stairs, and Stoick rang the doorbell. He turned, adjusting his son's green tie, and slightly straightening his suit.

The enormous doors swung open with ease, as they were greeted by a young brunet boy with green eyes and a crisp suit, much like Hiccup.

The boy bowed as they entered. Astrid's parents descended the staircase, easily striking up conversation with his father.

Hiccup paid no heed. Her mother announced that they were taking their conversation to the west drawing room, leaving Hiccup alone in the foyer.

He looked around the room, vastly decorated with unfitting Viking weaponry. He walked over to one of the shelves, containing a large shield with swirling patterns on it. He reached out to feel the texture, lightly tracing it with his finger.

All of a sudden the shelf could no longer support the armor as it came crashing down.

He yelped slightly as the heavy shield landed on him. He heard dainty footsteps from somewhere far away, drawing closer.

He tried to push it off, but his thin arms proved useless against this massive stone pinning him to the ground. The footsteps halted, and it was replaced with a fast whooshing sound. He squeezed his eyes shut but then he felt the pressure lessening on his chest.

He looked up as it disappeared completely. Forest green irises were met with the brilliant blue like a complimenting river. He was taken aback by the beautiful woman before him. Her blonde bangs slightly in her eyes, hair in a magnificent braid. He almost missed what she was saying,

"Are you alright?"

His head jerked up and down in an awkward nod as he rose to his feet, too quickly. He held back a grimace at the pain in his ribs. She rose too. They sat in silence that clouded the room like a thick fog before he mumbled,

"Thanks"

she brushed her hair out of her eyes "it's not a problem" she smiled.

Remembering the manners his father taught him, he thrusted his hand out, stammering, "my name is Hiccup" 

"Astrid," she shook his hand. They exchanged a smile. Their shaking stopped momentarily, hands lingering.

A shrieking voice broke their handshake "you shouldn't be alone together!" Astrid's mother squawked.

Hiccup peered over the woman’s shoulder to see his father shaking his head in disappointment. His shoulders slumped as he apologized quietly.

"It is one minute before five and you're not at the rehearsal!" she snapped.

After that fiasco they were rushed to the church. But after three long agonizing hours, Hiccup had still not gotten his vows right.

"Master Haddock, from the beginning" Pastor Nicholas commanded.

The priest recited the vows he was to repeat. "Let’s try again," the man said, thick Russian accent intimidating Hiccup. 

“With this candle..." he tried to light the candle but it refused to ignite.

"This candle..." he thrusted the wax into the flame 

”This candle," he stared at the unlit wick.

On attempt number four it lit, he let out a breath of relief, accidentally extinguishing the wick. The priest sighed and barked "continue!"  
The door bell ringing interrupted them.

"Get the door, Jamie" Mr. Hofferson ordered.

"Let’s just pick it up at the candle bit," the Russian muttered.

"a Lord Kozmotis sir" Jamie whispered to his master.

A tall ashen skin man strode through the door, arms folded behind his back, black cloak flowing behind him. His velvety British accented voice filled the silence "I haven't a head for dates. Apparently, I'm a day early for the ceremony"

The Hofferson’s looked at the man and each other, as if to ask whose side of the family he was from. Mrs. Hofferson snapped her fingers,

"Jamie, a seat for Lord Kozmotis" the boy rushed over with a chair as the man sat. He looked up at them at the altar with glowing yellow eyes that seemed to stare into Hiccups soul.

"Do carry on" he motioned with his hand.

"Let’s try it again, shall we, Master Haddock?" Astrid lit his candle smiling at him before he looked back up at the irritated man

"Yes, sir" he nodded solemnly.

"Right" the priest barked,   
"Riiight" the boy muttered, then realized his candle was in the wrong hand. In a swift, and somewhat clumsy, movement he switched hands.

"With this...this..." he stammered, shaking slightly.

"Hand" the Russian droned.

"With this hand..." Hiccup took Astrid's hand walking forward trying to speak and count his steps but he bumped into the table.

"THREE STEPS! Three! Can you not count? Do you not wish to be married Master Haddock?" The priest getting flustered yelled at him again.

Heat rose to his cheeks. "No! No" he shook his head trying to reassure him, but in that attempt he made a bigger fool of himself Astrid looked at him

"You don't?" her eyes full of sadness.

"No! I meant no, I do not, not wish to be married. That is I want very much to-"

Failure upon failure the priest struck him with his staff, "Pay attention! Have you even remembered to bring the ring?"

He stammered "ring... Yes!"   
He pulled it eagerly out of his pocket. However his eagerness turned to disaster as the wedding ring slipped through his sweating, trembling fingers.

"Dropping the ring!" The priest bellowed.

Angry voices filled the room as it rolled just beneath his soon-to-be mother-in-law’s skirt. He dove after it, his hand snatching the ring not realizing what he had just done. Reaching under a lady's skirt was highly frowned upon in society.

He rose, "Got it!"   
But he soon noticed his candle was missing. He looked back down in horror; her petticoat was ablaze.

Pure panic rose in the room as her husband attempted to put it out by stomping on it, however each attempt proved futile. The priest closed his book in a harsh manner, beyond irritated as he rolled his eyes. Hiccup didn’t know what he could do; he had to right the wrong he had done. Suddenly an arm appeared in his line of sight, tipping over a wine glass onto the dress. The flames fizzled out as Kozmotis’ arm tossed the glass which was caught by the butler skillfully on a tray. Everyone gawked at the tall man, they had forgotten he had even entered the room.

After marveling over the hero, the attention was turned back to the black sheep of the room. "Enough! This wedding cannot take place until he-" a finger pointed towards Hiccup "is properly prepared" Pastor Nicholas finished.

Hiccup backed up as the angry mob grew closer, pitchforks and torches in their eyes.

"Young man, learn your vows." The man threatened, face solemn. Hiccup’s eyes darted to the grim faces in the room, some with anger, some with disappointment, and one with sympathy. His hand fumbled for the doorknob as he turned it and dashed out of the room.


	2. A Watery Grave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet the Corpse Groom! Dun! Dun! Duuuunnn!

He ran from the church, from his father, from the condescending town full of dreary grey people. He found himself on the cobblestone bridge that separated their town from miles of forest.

"Oh Astrid, she must think I am such a fool. This day couldn't get any worse" he mumbled, rolling the wedding ring around in his fingers.

A loud bell caught his attention; he turned his head from the frozen stream to the wide man shouting the news. Fishlegs was what they called him.

"Rehearsal in ruins as Haddock boy causes chaos! Fishy fiancé could be canned!" Hiccup rolled his eyes burying his hands in his pockets as he set off into the vast forest.

He had felt like he had walked for eternity, every tree looking the same and the path feeling endless.

"It really shouldn't be that difficult, it's just a few simple vows," he muttered.

"With this hand... I will take your wine... No..."

He trailed off and strode a bit further. "With this hand, I will cup your... Oh goodness no."

He tried and tried again but quit with a large sigh. He found himself at a large pond "with this... with this... with this candle... I will... set your mother on fire"

He seated himself on a rock by the frozen water’s edge in defeat.

"Oh it’s no use..." He muttered pulling the ring back out of his coat pocket.

He stared at the ring for a few moments, the gold band gleaming in the moonlight.

Gaining new found confidence he rose and spoke with a clear tone "with this hand, I will lift your sorrows; your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine"

He tossed the ring into the air catching it with glee. He turned; speaking to two tree stumps, "ah, Mrs. Hofferson, you're looking ravishing this evening"

He paused, addressing the other "what's that Mr. Hofferson? Call you dad? If you insist, sir" he patted the stump, chuckling at his ridiculousness and returning to his vows.

"With this candle," he picked up a stick "I will light your way in darkness" he mimicked lighting it but upon seeing a peculiar shaped stick perturbing from the ice, dropped it. It almost looked like a hand.

"With this ring, I ask you to be mine" he placed it on the half submerged thin stick.

A giant smile arose to his lips, the first time he had really smiled in a while. He jumped into the air, celebrating this small victory.

The sound of cracking ice cut short the cheering. Hiccup’s eyes stared in disbelief at the stick as it reached from the water. The wind began to pick up, swirling around him and the hole emerging in the ice. Another limb broke through grabbing a wooden staff that lie in the muck, and pulling itself up. A figure began to climb out of the crystal sheet. Too shocked to move the boy stayed frozen in his spot. The figure became clearer against the moonlight. The peculiar stranger was dressed in what looked to be wedding attire; a dress shirt, vest and slacks that were cropped mid-calf. All of a sudden the wind stopped completely, everything coming to a standstill as the person’s discolored hand raised their bowler hat, exposing their face. A pale boy with resilient blue eyes looked back at him, as the boy whispered,

"I do."

Purely and utterly terrified, Hiccup’s legs began working again as he tore through the forest. While he ran he tried to convince he didn't see what he just saw. His feet slid out from underneath him as he tripped, hitting his head on a tree. Vision blurred he whirled around trying to figure out where he was, that's when he saw a blurry pale figure marching towards him. He turned sprinting into the same tree before stumbling off into the thick woods. The trees turned into daggers, as they caught and slashed at his sleeves.

Suddenly he heard the familiar click of cobblestone underneath his feet and found himself at the bridge he started at. He was dumbfounded over this, swearing he had gone at least a mile or so into the woods. He felt the whipping wind against his back and turned, terrified to see… nothing. He turned around again, feeling slightly at peace as he faced towards the town once more to begin heading back, before he was face to face with the dead boy. His pale skin glistened wet from the lake water, as his hair dripped slightly on his faded blue dress shirt. The boy carried a Shepard crook staff, made out of wood it seemed.

Hiccup backed up, fear flooding his veins and pumping through his heart. The creature followed him until he was pressed against the side of the bridge. He began to hyperventilate as the crook of the staff pulled around his hips, pulling him closer to the living dead boy.

"Kiss me, Husband" the stranger whispered, cupping Hiccup's chin and pulling him in. The wind picked up around them again.

Heat spread among his cheeks as cold lips collided with his own, everything went black.


	3. New Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We've got ourselves a breather!"

A loud bell, distant talking and the sound of jazz music awoke him. His eyes fluttered open as he looked into the sky blue eyes of the dead boy,

"He must have fainted. Are you alright?" Hiccup startled at the numerous eyes coming into focus around the teen. He stammered to answer.

A skeleton peeked over the pasty boys shoulder, "a new arrival!"

Hiccup shook his head blinking a few times, "what..? What happened?"

The skeleton gasped, "Goodness, looks like we've for ourselves a breather!"

A hand shoved him aside as a thin blue skinned blonde came into view, long twin braids on either side of her head, a goofy smile on her face, "does he have a dead brother?" 

A boy who looked to be her twin, with long blonde hair and a similar facial structure, shoved her aside, declaring "hey, he's still soft!"

He poked Hiccup's chest. Panic seeped through his skin as he stood up suddenly, turning to be faced with a bar. He looked around to see rotting corpses all over, their skin colored with decay and drinks in their hands.

A voice chimed "a toast!" 

He looked over to see a short stout man raising a glass, golden hair haloing his face. A large black object perturbed from his back, a stalagmite he thought, as he chuckled, with a somewhat warm smile, 

"to the newlyweds!" 

Hiccup blinked a few times before turning back to the young man, "newlyweds?"

The boy chuckled, smiling as he held out his hand and wiggled his fingers "oh, by the lake you said your vows so perfectly."

Hiccup stared in disbelief at the gold band wrapped around the boy’s ring finger, stammering,  
"I did?" 

"I did." An epiphany hit him like a tidal wave as he turned to the bar smashing his face into it.

"Wake up," he muttered "wake up, wake up!"   
He heard a voice and turned to see a severed head creeping his way across the countertop cockroaches spewing out of the bottom and holding him up.

"Good evening! My name is Snotlout, I am the head waiter, I will be creating your wedding feast!" He announced. The brunette gasped.

A small pooka popped out from the boys vest, arms covered in blue tribal symbols and an obvious tire mark on his back, "wedding feast??"

Hiccup gasped at the rabbit and his Australian accent. The dead boy becoming embarrassed shoved the rabbit back into his shirt, chuckling nervously, "road kill" 

Hiccup was purely terrified. He backed up, pushing through a crowd of the undead. He grabbed the short golden man by the nub poking out from his spine, lifting him up to defend himself

"I've got a... I've got a dwarf! And I am not afraid to use him!" He stammered

"I want some questions... Now." he fumbled.

The man turned to look at him, chuckling, "answers, I think you mean answers." 

"Yeah, that's right" Hiccup said with confidence "I need answers, what's going on here? Where am I? Who are you?"

He looked at his so called husband. The boy leaned against his staff, awkwardly ruffling his white spiky hair "well that's kind of a long story..." He trailed off.

"What a story it is," a man continued. Everyone's eyes darted over to the skeleton in a top hat, standing on a stage.

"A tragic tale of romance, passion, and a murder most foul" he spoke, his voice getting more intense with each word.

The dwarf turned his head to him, whispering, "this is gonna be good"

Realizing he was still holding the small man he dropped him suddenly with a yelp.   
The skeleton whispered something to the jazz band inhabiting the stage and all of a sudden a musical number began. Skeletons joined the lone skeleton on the stage and began to snap rhythmically with him. The carcass began to sing,

"Hey! Listen up now you corpses of cheer, leastle all of those who've still got an ear. I'll tell you a story that'll make your heart swoon, of our own devilishly handsome corpse groom"

The skeletons, even the bar, began singing along too in what seemed like a chorus.

"Die, die we all pass away  
But don't wear a frown cause its really okay  
You might try 'n hide  
And you might try 'n pray  
But we all end up the remains of the day"

The bone boys on stage, began to chant “yeah's" in quartets. That's when the lead skeleton belted out another verse,

"Well our boy is a looker, known for miles around  
Until a tall stranger came into town  
He was secretly looking for someone to replenish his cash  
And our poor little snowflake he fell hard and fast  
When his mother said no, he just couldn't cope.  
So our lovers came up with a plan to elope"

The skeletons repeated the “yeah's" before the bar chimed in what he now knew was the chorus again. But the piano trilled a new tune as the skeletons began to dance to an instrumental. He was slightly scared over the fact he was surrounded by the living dead, dancing and singing. All of a sudden the lead skeleton took his arms and pulled him into the dance. He went from a stiff frame to a limp noodle as the carcass spun him about. He was released as the singing resumed,

"So they conjured up a plan to meet late at night,   
They told not a soul kept the whole thing tight,   
He wore his Sundays best, fit like a glove,  
Not very formal, but he was madly in love,  
Except he needed a few things he didn't possess,  
Like all of the riches that he'd promised,  
Then next to the frozen-over lake,  
On a dark foggy night at a quarter to eight,  
He was ready to go but where was his mate?"

The whole bar then chimed in, "and then?"

"He waited" the skeleton said.

"And then?" The crowd drew closer.

"Out of the darkness was the shadow man"

"And then?" Closer.

"His little heart beat soooooo fast"

"And then?" They were in his personal bubble.

"Everything went black" the skeleton chuckled, pausing momentarily before he continued,

"When he opened his eyes he was dead as dust,  
he was cold and scared and his heart was bust,  
so he made a vow under the ice that day  
that he would wait for someone to whisk him away"

The music began to build up as the bar began to dance again,

"Always waiting for someone to ask for his hand , to see him and feel him and be alive again"

His hands were taken up by his mystery husband as he swung him around. Hiccup’s face mirrored pure terror as the pale boy smiled sheepishly at him.

"You vowed forever, he said I do and that's the story of our corpse groom!" The skeleton finished, falling into the crowd as they began to carry him.

The boys wrist cracked as Hiccup stumbled back, realizing that the hand was still in his he dropped it suddenly. The bar erupted in the chorus but he didn't want to stay and hear it again.

Hiccup tore through the crowd, looking for an exit. His eyes locked on a staircase and he took it quickly, running out of the door at the top, leaving the bar behind.


End file.
